Parenting is a lifetime process that begins when a child is an infant. Even in adulthood, some parents feel the obligation to find to keep up with their grown-up sons and daughters.
You can never do enough for your child, but with time you learn to let go and allow your teen to forge their path in life.
Kids yearn for the love and affection of their caregivers throughout their lives, only that the intensity and the nature of their needs vary with age. Teenaged children, also referred to as adolescents, express a strong desire for independence.
Deciding which type of parenting is most effective during adolescence depends on the unique teenage needs.
Understanding Adolescents
The majority of the time, adolescents are described as rebellious, headstrong, and in other undesirable terms.
Most of these characteristics are observed in teenagers but are not necessarily their identity. They are a result of a deep desire to break free and be a person of their own.
Adolescents have a lot going on in their lives. They are dealing with body changes, most of which make them uncomfortable. Girls are dealing with menstruation and enlarging breasts. Boys are breaking their voices.
Both are beginning to take responsibility for their sexuality and maybe already bearing consequences for a bad decision made. Most of them are also dealing with mental issues due to peer and social media pressure.
Everything is happening so fast. Teens also feel the pressure to belong with their peers, and any rejection can make their lives miserable.
They need the guidance of an adult but want to remain in charge of their lives. It’s a rollercoaster of emotions.
Raising teenagers calls for a lot of understanding and patience. They constantly battle with the desire to be independent and the fear of the unknown.
They desire to receive care and support, yet they feel the need to behave like they have it all together.
Find Out Which Type of Parenting Style is Most Effective During Adolescence
Assuming you have understood the emotional, physical, and psychological needs of adolescents, it is time to determine what works best for your teen.
To effectively parent your teen, you will need to choose a method that blends authority and empathy.
Whichever way you choose to raise your kids, there are consequences so go for a model that impacts your children more positively. As a parent, you will practice either one or more types of caregiving, whether knowingly or unknowingly.
Below are the four main parenting styles and their effects on adolescents:
Authoritarian Parenting
It is the kind where the parent has the first and the last word. Authoritarians set all the family rules and children will either follow or face dire consequences.
Kids are not allowed to ask questions, and if they do, they do not get appropriate answers. The parent insists that children should follow instructions without questioning.
Authoritarian parents do not consider their children’s opinions in problem-solving. They believe that kids are there to be seen and not to be heard. These kinds of parents make significant decisions without involving their children.
The authoritarian parenting style puts the parent at the center and the children at the periphery. Such parents disregard their kids’ opinions and expect them to follow the set rules to the letter.
Any sign of rebellion or hesitation is most of the time met with punishment instead of discipline. Instead of giving guidance and correcting mistakes, authoritarian caregivers cause children to feel guilty and less appreciated in the family.
Effects on Children
This style is detrimental to the children emotionally, mentally, and psychologically. It is a damaging parenting style that instills fear instead of discipline.
Children remain on alert as if they are in a military camp instead of a family where love should abound.
In most cases, the kids become rebellious as a means of survival. They do not expect any kindness from their parents, so they adapt by developing a tough skin.
Some become aggressive and direct their anger to unconcerned parties. Their interpersonal skills are poor and most of them become lone rangers.
Authoritarian parenting style lowers the self-esteem of the children involved. They are used to taking orders and do not believe they are smart enough to make any decision. Even though they follow the rules, they do so to survive and not to thrive.
Adolescents have limits in following rules and regulations. Dealing with them forcefully will stir up more rebellion than obedience.
They feel abused by the same people who should care for them. This may lead to mental issues like anxiety and depression.
Permissive Parenting
Adolescents enjoy this approach more. Whether this type of parenting is most effective during adolescence, you will find out.
Permissive parents do well in setting rules, but they rarely implement them. They are also called free-range parents. Children have the freedom to explore and make mistakes but with the guidance of their parents.
Such parents will always push their limits since they know that the consequences are either minimal or non-existent.
Naughty toddlers and teens get away with quite a lot because their free-range parents forgive easily.
Parents who use this caregiving style allow their kids to make mistakes and take risks. Permissive parents will only intervene when a situation poses serious risks or is likely to result in terrible consequences.
Effects on Children
Both the positives and the negatives of free-range parenting seem to balance out. On the upside, children develop a mind of their own.
They learn to equate choices to consequences. They are allowed to make mistakes and decisions. When they get it right, they are happy. When they miss the mark, they learn.
Another advantage of free-range parenting is that children find a friend with their parents. They are free to air their opinions and discuss their challenges.
Adolescents appreciate this method more since they have the leeway to do a lot of things. Their self-esteem is given quite a boost since their opinions are valued.
On the flip side, some free-range parents tend to overdo the friendship bit. Often, they do not call out bad behavior for fear of offending the children. Such may lead to spoilt kids who do not regard authority and lack limits in their lives.
Adolescents need guidance and strong parental authority to help in ordering their somewhat chaotic lives. Children from free-range parents are not used to tough love. When they face criticism, they may take it harder than necessary and become stressed.
Authoritative Parenting
Are you wondering which type of parenting is most effective during adolescence? Authoritative parenting might be it but keep reading. The authoritative parenting style is the most balanced of them all.
Parents invest their energy, time, reason, and emotions to form a solid parent-child relationship. They set clear rules and boundaries that govern their children’s behavior.
Authoritative parents set limits for their kids not to dictate them but to bring governance. They hold conversations with the children and provide a conducive environment for growth. Adolescents need this approach to bring checks and balances into their lives.
In the authoritative parenting style, the parents use discipline instead of punishment to rectify bad behavior. They reinforce good behavior through rewards and giving positive feedback.
Effects on Children
Children from authoritative parents tend to exhibit more self-confidence. It is because their parents involve them in decision-making.
Children have a voice, and their opinion matters. They are generally happier and less likely to suffer from stress and depression.
The Authoritative parenting style goes hand in hand with attachment parenting, where parents connect well with their children. Authoritative parents offer guidance and direction to their children, especially in adolescence.
The parent-child relationship is solidified. Children are disciplined and mostly make the right decisions in life.
Their social skills are refined, and they are more likely to succeed in life. Adolescents benefit more from the authoritative parenting style.
They face life with confidence, trusting their parents’ guidance and support no matter what happens.
Uninvolved Parenting
In the uninvolved parenting style, parents are highly detached from their children. They do not offer direction on what should be done, and they leave kids to raise themselves.
The children are more answerable to society than they are to their parents. This method has the worst outcomes.
Uninvolved parents have the fewest rules, and they do not care whether the children adhere to the rules or not. There are no set limits, so the kids can do whatever they want and only learn through the consequences of their bad choices.
Parents rarely ask how the children are doing at school or in general life issues. This style is also called neglectful parenting. Most of these parents work hard to provide for their children but never bother to do any attachment parenting.
Neglectful parents devote more of their time and energy to everything else other than parenting. Some of them do this unintentionally and may not know that they are uninvolved.
If a parent has any mental issues, they will most likely practice neglectful parenting.
Effects on Children
From the analysis, uninvolved parenting cannot be the type of parenting that is most effective during adolescence. Children from neglectful parents lack direction, and their judgment on life matters is clouded.
The children do not even know that attachment parenting exists, so they have no bond with their parents. Uninvolved parents and their children make a family of strangers. They may know each other’s names but nothing beyond that.
Adolescents who have gone through neglectful parenting have shaky foundations. Most of them have low self-esteem. They end up making poor life decisions due to a lack of parental guidance.
The Verdict
Determining which type of parenting is most effective during adolescence takes more than theories and a few individual stories. In parenting, the end justifies the means.
If your teen is not responding well to your parenting mode, maybe it’s high time you made some adjustments.
There is no one-size-fits-all model of parenting. It is also impossible for a parent to consistently stick to one style of parenting. Sometimes you will be more authoritative and other times more permissive depending on the situation.
The authoritarian and uninvolved child-rearing styles are detrimental to children’s lives, so you may need to keep off.
According to the evaluation of the four types of parenting, authoritative comes off as the most balanced. It is suitable for children across all age groups.
Parenting adolescents is tasking and requires a healthy balance between an authoritative parenting style and attachment parenting.
This combination will give them the guidance and the care they need to feel safe and confident as they navigate adolescence.
