As a young person, step parenting refers to that type of parenting in which a particular parent is married to the father or mother of a child, but biologically not the child’s own father or mother; a stepfather or stepmother.
Step parenting sometimes arises as a result of a particular parent getting married to someone else. And so, children brought into that kind of marriage are often referred to as Step children (Stepdaughters or stepsons).
In step parenting, the stepfather or mother takes up some responsibilities of his or her stepchildren, if not all, as the case may be, even though the children are not his biological children.
A stepfamily is also referred to as a blended family.
Advantages and disadvantages of step parenting
According to scientific research, 65 percent of parents who remarry bring their children alongside them into the new household.
This result implies that the problem encountered in the previous family may probably be expected to be experienced in the new one.
Families discover different kinds of issues, but those with step parenting families usually encounter the unique type of problems that most parents rarely understand until they engage them for the first time.
When you know what to expect when creating a blended or step parenting family, you will assist one another in addressing the issues on time before they get out of hand.
Advantages of a step parenting
The following are some advantages of a step parenting family
- It creates a foundation for nicer financial support; It is common to see single parents struggle to make ends meet. However, this is not usually the case in step parenting families or blended families. Single parents do carry out many jobs to make a living. They try as much as possible to work hard enough to raise money to pay house rents, buy clothes for themselves and their children, pay their children school fees, and try a lot to pay other bills. But when it comes to step parenting families, the two working parents’ two incomes are available, and solving family problems becomes so easy. The burdens are easily shared, which leads to good mental peace, which in turn increases the step parenting family success.
- Step parenting can lead to a high level of happiness; parents’ happiness is invariably transferred to their children. This is the major reason step parenting families brings about the chance to Produce successful outcomes. It’s common to see children less worried and very happy when their parents are happy and less worried. The stepchildren will automatically work with you to ensure that the relationship works perfectly well and there’s a great deal of stability. A great marriage can bring about children with good marital interactions, reducing the possibility of divorce when children grow up to become adults and possibly seek relationships of their own to manage.
- Step parenting can lead to better approaches to solving problems in a new family; Children from step parenting families usually learn to be very flexible according to research on family life. This is usually attributed to the fact that more Problems often need urgent solutions. It is always considered very easier for them to accommodate new people and adapt to new environments due to the changes that occur in their new environment. This process imbibes in them the culture of tolerance and compromise and gives them the ability to solve problems and become role models for their families and societies.
- Step parenting gives a kid a clearer view of the world; Normally, children grow up in a family environment that feels normal. Families differ in their operational systems. Step parenting or blended families assist the children in tolerating other people’s way of life since we are often bred differently. It also helps the children build greater self-esteem since we all live in a society filled with fear and uncertainties.
- Step parenting families encourage self-reliance and Independence; children from step parenting backgrounds already came from divorced parents, making them self-reliant and instilling Independence in them. They learn to work for money to pay their bills and achieve everything they intend to achieve without looking elsewhere for help or assistance. This similar process occurs when one parent passes away. The kids begin to learn how to wash plates, cook delicacies, wash clothes, take their children off to school. They carry out these activities perfectly without requiring any special supervision.
Disadvantages of step parenting
The following are some of the disadvantages of step parenting:
- It can lead to bitter sibling rivalry; The struggle for performance amongst the siblings often surfaces in step parenting families after they have been formed. There is always a potential competition amongst siblings of every home, but the competition and rivalry often increase when the children are not biologically related. Frequent fighting may occur more than before when you were in your previous marriage because the children are now not related through blood.
- Step parenting families can create moments of identity confusion; when step parenting families are formed, some women usually decide to change one of their names to create something more nuclear. This usually brings problems as children may likely wish to do the same, but the opportunity is not always there for them. These usually make children feel not loved and results in emotional outbursts.
- Step parenting families often experience more legal guardianship disputes; step parenting can increase the legal battles surrounding parents and the kids. A divorce can let one parent the house owner at the legal proceedings, but this agreement will have to change when the parent remarries.
- It can lead to wants and lack; when the kids are, many more financial implications are involved. This might lead to lack and wants as the burden becomes heavier for the parents to bear.
- What you should not do as a step parent;
- As a stepparent, do not try to take the biological parent’s place by making the child call you ‘mom’ or ‘dad’ immediately, even if the separation of parents is as a result of death or divorce. Instead, try to become a loved and reliable personality to the biological child, then wait for the child to be free around you to call your mom or dad.
- As a new spouse, you are advised not to spank your stepchild even when losing it. Instead, calm yourself down and report the behavior of your stepchild to the biological parent.
- As a new partner, do not assume the position of authority either as a stepmom or dad to your stepchild, most especially if the stepchild is school-aged or teens. School-aged kids and teens will rebuff stepparents at automatic authority. Instead, you should go slowly as a step parent by being a supportive friend to your stepkids, and then you can earn the love, trust, and respect of your step child.
- Do not get involved with the original parent’s discussion. Instead, please wait till the discussion is over, then you can talk with him or her privately as a couple that understands each other. It brings trust and self-respect.
- As a new stepparent, do not ignore or counter the wish of the biological parent/ex. If the ex forbids the child from dyeing her hair, having a boyfriend until he or she is 16, it should be respected that way. The ex still has authority over his or her child. Instead, try to make the biological parent(ex) understands if you have a serious concern about the child. It can be helpful and understanding.
- Warner Marina.” step parenting” an example of a modernized parenting style. ISBN 0-374-15901-7. Reviewed in 2001
- Tatar Maria. Concepts and prospects of a good step parenting guide. First published in 1998. Reedited and republished in January 2005. ISBN 0-6791-06722-8