A man’s son was involved in a rape case. This man did everything in his power to make sure his son was not convicted.
The case didn’t even reach the police station because the man successfully paid off the family of the rape victim, and then proceeded to simply advise his son never to involve himself in such cases.
From the above story, you must have started creating a mental picture of how this man’s son would turn out. The father’s action will go a long way in making or marring his son’s life.
Not only that, but the victim’s family has also made a serious impact on their daughter’s life which, with time would unveil itself.
What is Bad Parenting?
These are series of actions and/or inactions made by parents and guardians that can seriously harm the physical, psychological, emotional, and behavioral growth of their ward.
These actions and inactions can be unintentional, but it does not reduce the adverse effect it will have on a child.
Bad parenting, to mention a few, might stem from not knowing much about parenting; trying to follow our parent’s footsteps when handling our children, or simply a laisse-affaire attitude towards their growth.
Whichever the case, there is a detrimental effect on the growth of our children.
Signs of Bad Parenting
There are many actions, incidences, ways of life, we parents, at some point, are culprits. That though, doesn’t make us bad parents, rather, the excessive exhibition of these foul actions can create a deep cut in the lives of our children.
Here are some examples.
Withholding love and affection
This is called emotional stunting. A lot of parents think that giving hugs, kisses, or even telling their child, ‘I love you’ is unnecessary and uncalled for.
They are unaware that these simple gestures go a long way in their child’s emotional reinforcements. When a child is deprived of these, mental and behavioral issues such as timidity, low self-esteem, emotional detachment and many more are likely to surface over time.
Now, a child is likely to gravitate towards where he or she is presented with that love and affections which in many cases doesn’t end well.
Being taken advantage of, joining a bad group, all in the quest for filling the void created by parents.
This comes in form of condoning our child’s excesses. It is when our child’s actions in dire need of reprimanding are overlooked.
When we can’t say no to our child. We go all out to fulfill our child’s ridiculous wants, even when it’s inappropriate to them and/or others. This gives rise to feelings of entitlement, pride, arrogance, and many other disturbing behaviors.
But alas, when this child is introduced to a world where he is denied certain things, there is a high possibility that the child will self-destruct, become a delinquent, or simply fail to adapt to the environment.
Excessive reprimanding over prior mistakes can have a negative impact on the child’s behavior. In order to avoid being shouted at, grounded, or even beating, the child can result in withholding information, lying, secretive behaviors, and more.
Now, if we are unobservant, these actions will go unnoticed, and might only surface when major damages must have taken place.
Yes, most of us take pride in our children. A lot of us also overlook our children’s actions and behaviors, we are humans after all, and there’s no perfect way of raising a child.
But, how we decide to impart responsibility and knowledge can be the key element in raising our children.
Hitherto, that man’s son got into another rape case and was waiting for his father to bail him out, but as karma would have it, he was charged to court. Before he went to court, he shot his father to death for failing to cover the case.
So you see, we have a major role to play in shaping the lives of our children as a mandate from God. It is not easy, I know, but nothing good in life comes easy.